Last night, I had a long chat over the phone with my friend, Jit. I asked how he was doing and he replied he was doing well. We talked to catch up on old times, when we accidentally touched on something raw. Jit's voice shivered.
"Would you like to talk about it?" I asked.
Jit kept silent.
"It's ok. Talk only when you're comfortable," I said.
Another long silence. I gave Jit some breathing space.
Finally, he spoke. "Ok. Let me start from the very beginning."
Jit spoke about things I never knew was happening to him despite our years of friendship.
He is not alone. Within these past few months, I have friends who revealed their struggles and challenges - things like divorce, illnesses, financial losses, betrayals, retrenchments and falling prey to scams. I never knew!
When asked "How are you?", "Fine" or "Good" were the usual replies. They would laugh, smile, speak about their children, lament about the weather, talk about that hawker centre that serves good char kuei teow, but inside is the lonely, struggling man or woman, hiding themselves, putting up a brave and happy front for the world to see.
Oh! May we drop our judgements, comparison, indifference, and learn to see beyond the obvious! May we learn to accept others for exactly who they are and listen with love and compassion! Only then, those in pain will receive the gift of being heard and accepted. They know they're not so alone anymore; that there's someone who knows their inner battles and the scars that they hide.
As for those quietly fighting battles inside, you need not fight alone. Reach out for support and help from those that you trust. You could also call The Befrienders 24-hours hotline number at 03-79568145. Or, the BGF Counseling Service at 03-78599610/78599682, Mon-Fri, 7.30pm-9.30pm.
Here's sending love to everyone who's trying their best to heal from things they don't discuss.
I love you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you.
Namaste.
(The two images above are from my Facebook news feed).
