Tofu Brain

When one's brain becomes tofu, you just can't do anything much. Whatever you write becomes bland and white-ish and if you were to try to read a book, you'll read the same paragraph over and over again without understanding much of what you've read. You might try going for facebook, yet all you see are blur-ish posts and your fingers are just scrolling along mindlessly.

Because with a tofu brain, the brain feels heavy, bland, mooshi-whooshi; the silken type. There's nothing I can do, really. So, I sleep. Tofu brain likes this. I fell asleep immediately my head touches the pillow.

I sleep through the sound of husband tipp-tapping on his keyboard.
I sleep through the noise of dripping waters in the kitchen as my cleaner cleans the sink.
I sleep through an orchestra of barking dogs.
I sleep through the choir of neighbours shouting at their dogs.
I sleep through gates opening.
I sleep through gates closing.
A neighbour drives his or her car into the driveway. Which neighbour? Who cares? I sleep through this too.

DING DONG! I woke up. Someone presses the doorbell. It is my son, back from school. I am awake now. I put away the blanket and pillow, have some cookies and juice with son, and start to write.

Brain is back to normal.

This Wesak, I Have Flowers

On Wesak Day night, I sat down and wrote this little poem:

This Wesak,
I have flowers.
Burst of yellow, white, magenta
Chrysanthemum flowers.
I placed them on three small Ikea vases
And offer them
to Buddha
to Hope
to Love
to Joy
to Happiness
to Simplicity
to Loveliness
to Myself, also.
They beautify my life
And I appreciate their beauty.
Their mission fulfilled.
My mission fulfilled.
This Wesak,
I have flowers.
- Khema Yen, Wesak Day, 21 May 2016

Full Moon in Scorpio

Completed this mandala on full moon night, and titled, "Full Moon in Scorpio". It comes with a poem:

Full Moon in Scorpio
Her magic rays fall onto Mother Earth's ocean
Turning into Golden Ocean Womb
Falling...falling...deep onto Mr Whale

All is silent
As the Full Moon pours
As the Ocean Womb fills
As Mr Whale receives

Mr Whale goes deep
He swims silently
He is keeping his secrets
He is not telling...yet
No...not yet.

Full Moon in Scorpio
Blessed be,
Blessed be.
- Khema Yen, 22 April 2016

Let's Go Home

I am inspired by Dr Hew Len's Ho'oponopono work. Out of that inspiration, a poem popped out:

I've gone in

I've been inside

I travel there, 

...and back

Everyday

For Zero is Home

Zero

Void

Emptiness

These are words to describe Home.

Let's go back to Zero;

to The Void;

to Emptiness

Shh... Silence

Let's Go Home

- Khema-Yen, 14 April 2016

(I drew this mandala, titled " Golden Lotus Suspended in The Void" on 1 March 2015. I thought this image represents this poem well.)

The Divine Feminine

"Dancing with Life,
Dancing with Grace,
Moving with the Rhythm of the Universe,
This is the Way of The Divine Feminine."

The poem above came up spontaneously after I drew this mandala. It is one of the most feminine feeling mandala that I've drawn so far. And also the only mandala which I used so much magenta on it; which is interesting because I am not a person who is drawn very much to the colour magenta. But, after this mandala, I have grown to love the colour!

The whole process of creating this mandala brought up feelings of sensuality, feminity and yes, very goddesses-like in me. Hence it's name: The Divine Feminine.

Soul Loss - What Is Soul Loss and How To Recognize It (Part 2)

The word "soul" may mean different things to different people. For me, soul means our vital essence; the part of us that is wise, connected to Source energy, connected to the Tao of Life itself; our soul is that invisible, intangible spiritual self.

So, when I speak of soul loss, I do not mean that we have totally lost our vital essence (although it sure feels like it). It just means that we have lost the connection with the wholeness of who we really are. When one is suffering with soul loss, their entire life feels fragmented, broken into pieces with many parts missing, and yes, lost.

How do we lose our soul? The ancient shamans and bomohs (Bahasa Malaysia word for spiritual healers) would say that the soul was stolen, or spirited away or frightened away by humans or supernatural forces. However, in my practice, soul loss in my clients are due to traumas such as abuse, loss of loved ones, surgery (both minor and major), accidents, illnesses, abortion, miscarriages and even chronic, prolonged day-to-day stress. Soul loss could also happen by witnessing violence either in real life or through the internet or tv. All this makes soul loss a common phenomenon, and an unrecognized epidemic that is infecting the whole world today.

"Soul loss can be observed today as a psychological phenomenon in the everyday lives of the human beings around us. Loss of soul appears in the form of sudden onset of apathy and listlessness; the joy has gone out of life, initiative is crippled, one feels empty, everything seems pointless"
- Marie Von Franz, Jungian psychoanalyst

Perhaps soul loss is the reason why we have so much addictions now. Addictions are not necessary drugs or alcohol. It can come in the form of chocolates, books, endless need to shop and shop and eat and eat, and social media like facebook. Do we need to constantly check our social media status every 1 minute?

Here comes that important question. How does one recognize soul loss? Going through these questions can be helpful:

1. Do you have a difficult time being "here" in your body?
2. Do you get sick easily and frequently?
3. Do you suffer from chronic depression?
4. Do you frequently feel numb, empty or a sense of being dead? And that life is meaningless?
5. Is addictions (ex alcohol, food, drugs, sex, gambling, etc) an issue for you?
6. Do you have a difficult time handling the stress of day-to-day living?
7. Are you easily overwhelmed?
8. Do you chronically feel weak and tired?
9. Do you have difficulties moving on with your life after the death of a loved one; or a loss if a significant relationship in your life?
10. Are you always ill as a child?

If you answer yes to many of these questions, you may be dealing with loss of the soul. That spark inside you may not be accessible to you, and there is a disconnection with Source, that vital, pure essence of who you really are.

One must seek help when there is a soul loss. Seek out professional therapists and healers who know of such things and who are able to bring those missing parts back. These are the healers who can help you reconnect to your vital essence so that you will be whole again. And the Tao of Life flows smooth and clear.

(The photo above is taken by Eng AH from his hotel room during his recent trip to Japan this winter. I chose this photo because when one is suffering from soul loss, it sure feels like winter time.) 

Lessons From The Silver Whales and An Oyster

We are almost done with the first month of 2016. And from the look of it, this year would be more challenging than 2015. Almost daily I received news of gloom and doom in the financial world, more terrorist attacks (with the latest Jakarta bombings, Malaysia is on high alert now - something unthinkable in my childhood days), political turmoil (local and abroad), and most recently, our Malaysian AG has cleared the PM of all wrongdoings - much to the anger and frustrations, and a sense of helplessness and hopelessness of majority of Malaysians.

This page is not meant to be a political page nor about the negative going-ons of the world. But I mentioned a little of politics, and these happennings due to what I want to share here; an insight I gained from my latest mandala.

Dear Malaysians, be like these two silver whales. Although things look dark and gloomy, we can still stay strong and balance like the whales, unperturbed with their long journey across the oceans; swimming across huge ocean floors with their family, courageously humming and singing their songs. 

Be like this oyster. Oyster's talent and skill is to turn sand into bright, shining, precious pearl. And oysters do this daily, despite whatever challenges in the ocean floor. They do it quietly, silently and with great resilience.

Hence, in 2016, we can be like these two silver whales, dreaming our dreams inside an oyster. And when we do that, our dreams will be sacred. They will be protected and guided by divine beings. Can you see the four Earth Angels surrounding the dream? Can you see the four Spirit Whales surrounding the silver whales? We must trust; we must dream; we must move towards our dream. It is sacred.

(The mandala above is titled, "The Dream of The Silver Whales Inside An Oyster" )